…and the story goes…

How can I just let you walk away

Just let you leave without a trace

When I stand here taking every breath with you

You’re the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me

When all I can do is watch you leave

‘Cause we’ve shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears

You’re the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now

Oh there’s just an empty space

And there’s nothing left here to remind me

Just the memory of your face

Take a look at me now

‘Cause there’s just an empty space

If you’re coming back to me it’s against all odds

And that’s what I’ve got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around

Turn around and see me cry

There’s so much I need to say to you, so many reasons why

You’re the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now

‘Cause there’s just an empty space

And there’s nothing left here to remind me

Just the memory of your face

Take a look at me now

‘Cause there’s just an empty space

But to wait for you is all I can do

And that’s what I’ve got to face

Take a good look at me now

‘Cause I’ll be standing here

And you coming back to me is against all odds

That’s the chance I’ve got to take

Take a look at me now

= Phil Collins =

Dedicated to all the boys I’ve loved before…Who had loved me with all their heart…Who had coloured my life with so much lessons, tears, and happiness…Who had found the love of their life…Congrats…And thanks a bunch…I would never be like what I am today if I never met you all, guys…Sorry because we couldn’t make it at last…It’s just…You’re not for me and I’m not for you…

===================================================================

I kept thinking that most of good men in my life were taken by somebody else…but then I realized that I was so wrong…They were not taken away from me…It’s just…God replaced them with someone much better…Because I deserved it…That’s all….. God…make me stronger, please….. = May 29th, 2005 6:33 pm =

Hey, are you interested in recording your beautiful voice into a CD but no recording company interested in you??? Or maybe you’re the one who’s dreaming of having your own personal collection song album but you don’t have enough money to pay the commercial recording company??? Or…you just want to keep your adorable voice secret, saved with you??? Well…it’s not a problem nowadays.

About three weeks ago, I went for my lovely little hometown, Cirebon. And just like usual, I went to Grage Mall, the biggest shopping mall there. Then I was so curious when I found a new counter next to the southern parking area, which is named "StarBox Studio".

I was so excited as I knew that it was a counter that provides services in recording album in an instant. Not waiting any longer, I tried to record my own voice —> hihihi…you know, it’s just like…making a really huge dream to become real, I think…

I entered one of five recording studios there. There was a TV monitor with microphone and headphone, and one big computerized recording system (I don’t know what its name, hehehe…) aside. Oh, it’s just like karaoke…!!! So simple. Practiced once, then the operator started to record my voice. Done with recording, then the operator started to finalyze the result. Few minutes later, I was so surprised as I didn’t recognize my own voice in that CD, it’s amazed me…!!! Felt like I’ve launched my own album, hehehe…

So, guys…interested??? Just try it…!!! It only costs Rp20,000 per song, so many song collections, and a cooperative operator who guides us along the recording process, nothing to lose, right??? And it’s just that easy to record your dream…

I was born with two ears to catch the tones,
Two eyes to read the parts,
A mouth to send the symphony,
And a heart to feel the beat.

I can’t live without music.
So much ways to speak up our mind, but for me, music is the most effective way. Through its lyrics and melodies, we can release any emotions. No wonder many people are suggested to listen to the music everytime they’re trapped in a stressful surroundings.
When you get bored, when you’re sad, when you get stressed, when you deal with any problems, when you break up with your partner, even when you get a big bunch of happiness, the music will always stand for you. Just take the chance, and let the music heal your soul, believe me

My native land is very dear to me
Its legend; its heroes; its history
I love my country but still it’s true
There is another land I love too

In the country of music
The streams are fresh and clear
And I know they will always flow
Every season of the year

In the country of music
The mountains are sublime
Though they seem to touch the sky
They are not too high to climb

In the country of music
What happy days I spent
For each stranger that I meet
Soon becomes a lasting friend

In the country of music
The harvest never cease
Doubtly blessed are those who dwelled
In harmony and peace

Oh the land of music
Is the loveliest land I know
I love to roam there
For I’m at home there
Wherever I may go

= Land Of Music =
by : Ilka Kuusista

I’m a little dust
Flown by the storm
Hope that I could seize the perfect blue sky someday
But strong wind push me away

I’m a little dust
Flown by the storm
Hope that I could stand on the stable rock someday
But strong waves push me away

==================================

Well…I wrote that poem 5 years ago. How witty…Reminds me of early waken up eyes of an innocent baby…But that’s cool I think…Put hopes, look forward for them, and never stop dreaming about their "carnation"…You’ll never know

I’ve heard so many friends of mine got married recently. Oh God… I mean…got married…?!! In the age of early 20’s…?!! Gosh… Well I don’t think that they’re still too young, it’s just…oh God…

Marriage…What does it mean…? Permanent long-term relationship??? A way to fulfill God’s assignments??? Or…it’s juz a way to have the lust legallized…??? The last one must be an excuse for a fool then…

Well…It’s not easy to say "Yes, I do". Many things we’ve got to think first before saying that three words. It’s a real big heavy decision. So much factors and parties will be involved, and definitely, we can’t ignore them. Because marriage is not only about the "two of us". It’s all bout two families, two different cultures, two different customs, two different characters, two different minds…And it’s all about how we could arrange them in harmony…under the name of God of course…

Now take a look at ourselves. Have we been well-prepared to do this…??? Surely we’re talking about our physical and mental condition. I mean, at least you know that a marriage will lead you to an independent responsibility, separated from other’s involvement. Did I mention the material matters…??? Yes of course it takes a portion. On the other hand, the "click" to your partner really does influence your mental performance.

Well…that’s just my opinion. For me, a marriage is not only about love matters. It will involve many factors that I’ve written above. If you all guys have all those things with you, then just go…!!!
If you ask me whether I would get married in my age now, of course I would say "Yes, I’d love to". Nobody doesn’t want to get married, right??? But I would also say "I won’t do it now". I’m just…not well-prepared (I think)…hehehe…Or maybe…I haven’t met that "click"…??? Only God knows…And still…It’s not easy to say "Yes, I do"…

In the name of God…In the name of 4JJI…
Who has planned every single mile of my journey…From dust till the end…

Sunday, September 19, 1982 23:23

It was an ordinary day.
The only thing that made it so special was just a prayer from the corner of a hospital room.
There was a man who couldn’t stand any longer from hiding his nerves.
There was my father.
In the next room, there was my mother.
Struggled, devoted her own life, just to give a new "life".
And the silence was broken as the baby’s crying.
There was "me"…

It was an ordinary day.
The only thing that made it so special was just an honour that I was born with one heart to feel what I think, and one brain to think what I feel…

It was an ordinary day.
The only thing that made it so special was just a pride that I was born as the youngest child from a big modest happy family…

It was an ordinary day.
The only thing that made it so special was just a joy that I was born with three elder sisters and two elder brothers who would never let me down besides me…

It was an ordinary day.
The only thing that made it so special was just a fact that I would be grown up with so much memoirs, friends, happiness, laughters, lessons, precious moments, and even tears…

It was an ordinary day.
The only thing that made it so special was just a bless that I would be surrounded by extraordinary people and surroundings…

It was an ordinary day.
The only thing that made it so special was just a little "me"…

Thanks God…