…and the story goes…

Yesterday was so horrible (yet fully blessed). I woke up very late (as my version), at 6:15 am, and was so shocked as I realized that I had to be at the office not less than 7:30. Gosh…!!! I took a bath in less than 10 minutes, and went to the office in a rush.

Actually my office is not too far from my boarding house. It takes only 30 minutes by public transportation (not counting a jam of course). Running from my office’s maingate, I tried to reach the punch-in absent record machine as quick as I could ’cause I didn’t want to be recorded late. But that wasn’t my day. I punched in right on 7:31…!!! How sucks…Just a minute after my working hour began…

I guessed that my fortune would slowly begin but I was just so wrong. So much works to do and so much tenses I got from my not trully inline superior. What a day…!!! I kept grumbling all day long, kept thinking that how "lucky" I was, stuck in the middle of f*ckin stuffs and my mood was so trully torn.

But as the sun went down, believe it or not, I found out a new perspective that I’ve never realized I could ever meet or even feel. That I was "knocked" by something pure, not from all of humanbeing in this world, not from all of creatures, but straight from the Up Above, just to make me realize that He’s trully exsist in an unpredictable way… (No need to explain here what I’ve experienced, just contact me whether you get curious with this, hehehe…..)
Then I got blessed for the rest of the day…………………

We’ve seen so much reality talent shows recently, especially in Indonesia. Just name it; Indonesian Idol, AFI, API, KDI, Kondang-In, Indonesian Model, etc. Actually…what’s the point of being their participants? Hoping to be a newly born entertainer? Looking for a good luck? A fame? Or just…..an instant unpredictable huge income????? Wow…No wonder there would be so much participants during each season.

It’s a common belief in Indonesia, that people who have access to entertainment world would have all their needs in their big pockets. It’s good as long as it’s fair. But have you ever imagined how those newly born idols’ feelings??? Cultural shock? In a rush coming fame? Self motivated crisis?

Well…now let’s take a look at Joy Tobing, the first Indonesian Idol. Right after she got a new triumph by winning the competition, she got everything. Famous, rich, so many job and recording, an unpredictable contract digit, etc. But what she did after that, she found out that those contracts had abandoned her freedom in choosing her own path. She decided to break the contract, finally.

Actually…what’s she looking for??? She got everything but she threw it all away. Was there something wrong…??? It might be yes. Just like what I’ve told you, she also met that shocks. Cultural shock, restricted "areas", sudden rush fame, etc.

So…have you been well prepared to face those shocks??? If you have, then just go. Bet your luck. But for me, process is more alike than everything that pops in an instant, hihihihihihi………….

Yesterday, a friend of mine asked me a very good question. He asked me, "Could women have the one and only love?". That was a very good question ’cause I needed to think several times before I answered it. After thinking for a few minutes I gave him the answer, "One boyfriend is possible, but one love??? No one could ever guarrantee. At least that’s what happened in me".

Hihihi…Did I give the right answer??? I don’t know…’Cause from the very beginning of my love life, I could never forbid myself not to love another man besides my boyfriend, though it’s just one to a hundred percent of my love to my partner.

Was it wrong??? But I think it’s a very common condition ’cause there would always be so much bumps in a relationship, I mean, bumps involving "third parties". And based on my own experiences (hihihi…), it’s not a real big problem ’cause it completely depends on how we could manage and maintain that "little crush". As long as we could understand what we really want and know what’s best for us, the rest is just a story.

So, if you asked me whether I could have the one and only love right now, I’d answer "I could never make it". But I don’t know…As time goes by, maybe I was so wrong…Maybe it’s just because I haven’t met my only love…Or maybe someone who could make me "the one and only lover"…Only God knows…..

It’s been a week since my heart was torn into pieces…..

Wow…I never knew the times would run that fast…

The good news is…Now I’ve released my mind…

No more pain…

No more suffer…

No more tears…

In fact I’ve just kicked him out of my head…

Hihihi…funny…

A week ago I was crying all day long for him…

But now I’m laughing out loud for that stupid idiot me that had cried a lot for him…!!!

You know what…..

‘Cause it’s not worthed at all…!!!

The pain; The suffer; The tears

Thanks God…to make me realize…

IT’S…NOT…WORTHED…AT…ALL………………………………………………………………………

F*ck off…

Believe it or not, but my heart was broken several times at the end of May…!!!
Seems like the May stars would never shine on my love life ever, hehehe…
But that’s ok…I’m just wondering why it had to be like that…
‘Cause…you know, it’s just like…pouring a full bowl lemonade on my wide opened injury…!!!
Hiks…It hurts…!!! Really hurts…!!!
But that’s what I called life I think…

to-be-hurt…………………………………..