…and the story goes…

God…may I ask You one thing…???
Was I meant to feel these…???
If I was…I’d be glad to let these tears pour in my whole life…
Thanks God…

So many words to describe you as a friend. Someone to accompany…Somebody to talk to…The one to lean on…Another heart to trust…Another ears to share…Even another eyes to see what I don’t see…

So many years have passed since I had you as a friend. Some years filled by adjustments…Few years coloured by togetherness…Even a year clashed by arguments…

So many things we’ve had to consider you as a friend. I sing what you sing, you’d do it too…You care what I care, I’d do it too…I believe what you believe, you’d do it too…Even you pray what I pray, I’d do it too…

So many bumps we’ve met till I could call you as a friend. Our perfect times laughing on our goals…Our precious times crying on our paths…Even our great times mocking on our own stupidity…

So many crushes we’ve got but I still name you as a friend. So many business we’ve dealed but I still mention you as a friend. So many hurts we’ve felt but I still long for your smile as a friend…

For whatever we’ve done…Whatever we’ve passed…Whatever we’ve got…

However…

You’re still a friend of mine…

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Dedicated to all my friends…In whatever…whoever…and wherever you are…

COMING SOON

The third season of Diponegoro University Choir Concert :

"Charity in Harmony"

Saturday, September 17th 2005

RRI Auditorium

Jl. Jend. A. Yani 144, Semarang

19:00 p.m.

TICKETS :

VIP Rp 50.000,00

1st Class Rp 30.000,00

Festival Rp 15.000,00

Contact Person :

Agus 08164885860

Fery 081575298820

Dian 081326232224

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To all the alumnees, members, ex-members, choir’s lovers, please make sure that you’ll be on charge to be part of it…Be there…!!!

Yep, yesterday on August 17th 2005, Indonesia celebrated its 60th years of independency. For humanbeing, it’s mature enough to be considered as an adult. But in this context, it would probably mean a baby developing country with so much homeworks to deal with.
But stop talking bout that. I’d never want to talk bout politics anyways. I juz wanna take few steps back to…let’s say…seven or eight years ago, when I was still in a senior high.
I was a member of PASUS at that time. PASUS stands for “Pasukan Khusus”, an extracurricular organization held to deal with some special events such as weekly routine “Upacara Bendera” (damned…I couldn’t find what it’s called in English…is it “Ceremony”…??? hihihi…sounds so strange…so keep it juz like that, ok? hehehe…), and any other special occassions that were dealed with discipline and leadership matters. Unfortunately, we - the PASUS members - sometimes were considered as an exclusive group of rude, synical, arrogant, tyrann people, who didn’t want to adjust with other’s rules, and who built a people force who didn’t ever want to be defeated by any other strength. What a very wrong judgement…In fact that there’s so much things we could learn from it; discipline, leadership, physical and mental strength, self confidence, nationalism, obedience, and even the human relationship among others…!!! See…??? It’s not negative…at all…Even it was the greatest place to learn, I think…
Thanks to PASUS for shaping me juz like this…I’m so proud being a little part of you…
Ok, stop memorizing. Actually I juz wanna tell you a little story about my experience to be someone who’s in charged for raising the national flag during Indonesia’s Independence Day Ceremony. Yeah…when I watched the live report on TV about “Upacara Bendera” at “Istana Negara” yesterday, suddenly I was sailing into last 7 years memory when I was at the “Pasukan Delapan”, eight people who’re in charged and honored to raise the flag. It was great, you know…Though I juz took part in my school area, it had been an honor to be a part of that “Pasukan Khusus” who got that special duty. But don’t ask me bout the preparation. It took us a long tiring month juz to be perfect…!!! Though our skin became so tan under the sun, though our feet were forced to keep standing all day long, though our cheeks were slapped sometimes (if only we’re not discipline), we’re still there…!!! A non-sense undescribable motive…juz to recall the duty. Or maybe…nationalism…??? I don’t know…All I know is juz that’s the only motive that we, the current youth, juz don’t have…
Ok…Maybe I was wrong with this but I’m sure, nationalism becomes so strange in our ears nowadays…
So who’s gonna be blamed…..???

Dearest, My Lord…

I’m writing this by whispering Your name…
Hope You’d forgive me due to my previous handwriting about what I want my husband to be…

My Highness…I didn’t mean to command You…You’re the one who can command me. Now I have to say that I wrote my previous article in terms of thought of a humanbeing who’s searching for the best. Finding the soulmate, it’s the main clause. While I’m thinking of what’s best for me, I think that it must be the best for You too. But how could I know that he’s the one? All I know is juz…You’ve prepared the best one for me…And I can feel that he’s not him…or him…or him…or him…or him…He might be somebody else…from somewhere else I’ve never thought…I could only pray that he might be the one like I want him to be…And I could only hope that it’s juz the same as You want him to be…

My Lord…I know life is an option. You’ve prepared the alternatives, and You let me choose. I know that You want me to have the best. So now I could only pray that You’d guide me to choose the right one…that You’d show me the best option…

My Gracest Lord…Somebody once told me that we might have a mate who’s gonna be more like us, not less, but it could be even more. That’s why I’ve put my hope to up above…And pray that Your wish is juz that high…

My Highness…I don’t mean to be picky. But please warn me whenever I’m lost…Coz as a humanbeing, I could only follow my heart…that’s hopefully moved by Your guidance…And now I could only give it all up to You…Coz I’m trully Yours…And I’m sure that You know better…

No, You know best…..

I watched the “Bride and Prejudice” movie yesterday. I know I was a little bit late watching it, but that’s not our topic today. What I’m gonna tell you here is that I was very interested in a scene when Lalita, the second daughter of Bakshi’s (Indian family), is set to marry Mr.Kholi, a rich Indian guy working overseas. Lalita isn’t happy with this coz she’s a smart and modern girl, and she wants everyone to respect her as she is. She wants to choose her own groom. She againsts most Indian thought about what a wife means. She doesn’t want to be inferior. She doesn’t want any men to command her as he likes. And here is some lyrics that I quoted from the scene when Lalita sings her feelings to her sisters :

I don’t want a man who ties me down

Who does what he wants while I hang around

I don’t want a man who’s crude and loud

Who wants a pretty wife to make him proud

I don’t want a man who can’t be funny

Who tells tall tales about making money

I don’t want a man who’ll grab the best seat

Who can’t close his mouth when he starts to eat

I don’t want a man who likes to drink

Who leaves his dirty dishes in the sink

I don’t want a man who wants his mummy

A balding pest with too much tummy

I don’t want a man who’s dead in the head

Wow…that’s a so-so-brave statement from an Indian girl that as we know, always ruled by the norms and customs. And watch this one, the bravier statements as she sings in the next scene :

I want a man with real soul

Who wants equality and not control

I want a man who’s good and smart

A really sharp mind and a very big heart

I want a man who’s not scared to weep

To hold me close when we’re asleep

I want a man who loves romance

Will clear the floor and ask me to dance

I want a man who gives some back

Who talks to me and not my rack

I want a man whose spirit is free

Will hold my hand, walk the world with me

Hmm…that’s so sweet…I think I’m gonna stand for her statements strongly. Yeah…that’s all what woman wants from her husband-wanna-be. But…I think I’d love to add some more “qualifications” for myself then…Here they are…

I want a man who leads me five times a day…

Who guides me to read and understand His commands…

Who shows me the right paths to be loved by Him…

Who reminds me that we’re only daydreamers in this dreamland…

Who pulls me back when I go wrong…

Who sings me His Words when I give a birth…

Who thankfully and happily cries as he whispers “adzan” to my own born children…

Who’s a loving and caring father to our little “sholeh and sholeha”…

Who covers me when I get ill…

Who loves me less and loves Him more…

Who loves me…because of Him…

Amien…

Yesterday, I got three shocking news in a day.
I got the first one early in the morning as I arrived at my office. The news told me that one of the best music tutors in my office, The British International School Jakarta - and even one of the best cello players Indonesia has ever had - Sulistyo Utomo, rested in peace on Sunday, August 7th 2005, due to cancer desease.
The second one came from the student of The British International School Jakarta. Karen Reijsenbach De Haan, a Year 8 student, passed away at her home in Netherland, due to high fever. Though I don’t know her well, still, this news influenced me as one of the staff here.
The last news, and the most shocking news of the day, came from my mother…She told me that my trully lovely beloved hamsters, Milky and Witty, died, eaten by the ugly cat…!!! Hwaaaaaaa…!!! I used to love cats but now I hate them so much…!!! Hiks…!!!
What a day……….
Hhh…Well…All I can do now is only pray for them as a last condolence from my deepest heart…
Hope this would be a very nice “beginning” for them…
Amien…..

You laugh, you learn

You love, you learn

You cry, you learn

You lose, you learn

You bleed, you learn

You scream, you learn

You grieve, you learn

You choke, you learn

You choose, you learn

You pray, you learn

You ask, you learn

= Alanis Morisette =

Never realized that it’s been 3 months since I felt your touch…Now here I am…shaking…trembling…lonely…cold…hopeless…
Wish I could make this as a rainbow dove…As a path to lead our way to make our dreams come true…
Sometimes it’s strange, you know…Leaving by your side only makes me feel captured…But now I need you, Mom…To hold me when I’m down…To wipe my tears when I cry…To sing to me when I’m dreaming…To pull me out from the edge of darkness…To guide me when I go wild…To cover me when I go wrong…To protect me when I go insane…
Wait for me, Mom…I’m going home…soon…..

Love,
Your Dearest

Well…First, I’m gonna underline the title above. “Wanna know him/her more? Date his/her friends…”. Do you guys know exactly what I mean…?
Sometimes, you have no idea bout someone’s character. Indeed, you have to know so much more bout this guy. So what do you have to do? Ask him/her straightly bout his/her personality??? Having a long tiring debate and arguing until the edge of mind juz to know his/her way of thinking??? Ask his/her opinion bout everything juz to know his/her taste??? Hmm…nope. Definitely, those aren’t the exact ways to know someone better.
Actually, there’s an easy way to give you a brief resume bout someone. Juz look at his/her friends. Analyze their habbits, their way of speaking, their consideration on others, their way to express what they feel, and so much more. Surely, those may help you in finding who the hell he/she is. I’ve ever heard bout a phrase that says, “Our friends reflect ourselves”. Yep, I think that’s right. An “A” type person would possibly join an “A” type group, and a “Z” type person would possibly belong to “Z” type group also. It’s all because some people with the same interests, the same way of thinking, the same habbits, the same characters, even the same hobbies, will adjust easily one to another. Then look at his/her friends’ opinion bout him/her. If they vote in one line statement, they might be right, you can believe them. But if there’s only 1 to 5 personnel who stands for one statement, of course you have to look for another “second opinion”, don’t be blind.
Ok, maybe we can’t make the statement above as a prorate condition. Maybe we have to tend to consider it juz as a major. Coz in fact, there must be a difference in each person. But at least, it may help us to “read” a little bit of someone’s line. Juz look at his/her friends, analyze them, ask them to say their opinion bout this guy, and pop…!!! It’s done…You don’t wanna judge a book by its cover, do you…???