…and the story goes…

Hi…It’s me again…!!! Good to be back…Starting to write after those long empty spaces…Well…I’ve juz realized that I’ve been “hiding” for a moment…Not gonna tell you bout all histories behind this recest, but…as usual, I’ve got a story to share with you all, guys.

Almost more than 2 weeks ago, on September 17th 2005, I was in Semarang, a lovely little town that used to be my best place to learn about life at least for 4 years. I was there to attend the most expectable moment for me as the alumnee of Diponegoro University Choir, the concert. It was the fourth season of Diponegoro Choir Concert. The concert itself took a tittle “Charity In Harmony”, which is held in the essence of caring and helping others through a joyful entertaining choir performance. I think I gotta give my 4 thumbs up for it. Every single aspect starting from choir itself, theme, songs, conductors, solists, coreo, costumes, stage, lighting, orchestra, backstage team, dancers, collaboration with “UKM Jawa”, was juz so new and fresh. And it’s done well, very much well. After those much sacrifies, finally they made it. Congratz to all of parties who’s been involved to make this “dream” come true. I was so proud, I’m proudly proud, and I’ll always be proud to be part of this big-happy-family, PSM Undip… :”)

And happiness wasn’t juz around the corner. In the end of the concert, I found myself in a trully non-stoppable tears. No, I was not sad. That was for my undescribable happiness. My heart was so full of joy. My tears sang happily for me. And my soul danced cheerfully. I was so happy to be there…To be among people that I love…who love me…who need me…who miss me…who never ask anything in return…God I love them so much…One thing I can’t find in my surrounding now is juz that much…That’s why I always feel that I belong there, among those warm people, and not in here…

It was 2 days before my birthday and I was grant a most wonderful gift like that…Thanks God…I wouldn’t care if this whole world forgot to say any birthday wishes coz it’s enough…Much more enough for me…Coz I’ve got my most wonderful gift on that day…A bless that I still had a chance to see the most precious people like them…And nothing I wanted more…

Thanks God…

(S)he’s out of my life……….
(S)he’s out of my life
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry
I don’t know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
(S)he’s out of my life……….

= She’s Out Of My Life - Josh Groban =

There’re still few couples of days before my birthday, but there’re some people who have given me birthday wishes in advance. Nothing’s special with this. It happened several times, actually. But for this year…well…I think…I should take a deep breath for it…It’s juz…little bit weird, huh…??? Knowing that I’m not that special for some people who are considered that special (by me) as well juz to be remembered…But that’s okay…In fact they’ve showed me their willingness to try to remember it, aight…??? Hehehe…sounds like I’m entertaining myself with those words…But I’m really juz alright, really. I do appreciate it. Thanks… :”)

Hmm…One week to go to Diponegoro University Choir Concert…Can’t hardly wait to be there…!!! It’s not the concert that I really look forward actually, hehehe. But…I really long for all of my old friends who used to be united in this Choir…!!!
Many things we’ve had when we’re under that old same roof…Learning do-re-mi…Reading the parts…Creating coreo…Discussing performance…Preparing events…Crying for the joy…Laughing for the pain…Hugging for the glory…Yelling for the triumph…Together in harmony…God…Miss them so much…Hiks…
Now we’re all having our own path. When we meet next week, maybe it won’t be like what we used to be. But that’s okay…We’re not living in memoirs, aight…??? It’s juz…Let’s make this moment as precious as it does…Then we’re all in harmony and peace…Juz like the way it is…!!! :”)

It happened on my last long tiring week which turned to be juz fine at the end. Last week, I thought that I was the only poor jerk left in this whole world. I really mean it. Everybody had enough “shocking” times when they’re besides me. No wonder there was no one could stand besides me any longer than 5 minutes at that time…Huehehe…Sorry, guys…It’s juz…I really did not need your words. Juz like what I’ve said in a BB post, I needed a big “hug”. That’s all I needed at that moment.
Well…not gonna tell you the exact problems, but…one thing I wanna underline here is…I used to see life in a strange way. I used to push myself too hard to seize my hopes. I used to force all of my energy to see a little me in progress. That’s why I could never accept being disappointed by myself. I’d be so down when I see myself in a stagnant phase and I’d feel as if I’m the only one who’s left behind. Hmm…I think that’s one of my tons of minuses as being a Virgo : perfectionist, hehehe…But I have to admit that sometimes we do have to be perfectionist.
Hey, forget it. I don’t wanna talk bout it right now. Okay, let’s make it short.
In the end of my last most horrible week, suddenly my siblings and some of my beloved old friends show up one by one in a very graceful way that I’ve never imagined this could be happened. They appeared one by one juz to let me know that they’re there for me…!!! They’re there to let me know that I was not the only one…That I was not the most miserable poor jerk in this whole world…That I was so much luckier than so many people from all over the world…That I was so much happier than anyone to be disappointed by myself…That I was so much worthier, so much more than I ever knew…In fact, they’ve saved my heart from falling…
Thanks, guys…for appearing in these such very unexpectable wonderful ways…
And thanks, God…for blessing me these extraordinary people and surroundings besides me…
I really mean it…