…and the story goes…

What do you have in mind when you read the tittle of this post? Another drama from me, the drama queen? Hehe…sorry guys, but this time I’ll disappoint you since what I’m going to write here is much further than just a drama.

I got the idea when I looked at one of my friend’s Friendster profile. Not necessarily discussing who he is, where he is, what he’s doing or blah…blah…blah…, what has bothered me the most is his statement about his own life.

I know he’s been through so many bad times, even the worst, ever. He’s been involved in an undesired job, unexpected surroundings, inconvenient environment, until he feels like he’s been trapped in what so called "unwanted journey".

Then suddenly I really want to look back at my own journey. I’ve been through so many ups and downs, too. Being public enemy, got fired, brokenhearted so many times, had to work in Papua, living separated from my beloved husband, family, and friends, even being an unwanted household in my own uncle’s house, I’ve been through all of these. But then, hey, there must be a reason why I should experience those things…Have you ever thought that you are meant to be like that…? ‘Cause I think so…

I know sometimes it’s difficult to see the best part of something unwanted. But we should remember one thing, that our lives are in God’s hand actually…Sometimes we think that we really know what’s best for us, that we’re good at this, we’re meant to be like that, we’re supposed to have this, and blah…blah…blah…but hey, something we think the best sometimes is not that best in God’s perspective…

Just like what I’ve said before, there must be a reason why we’re experiencing these A-Z phases of life. For me, despite the fact that I could be stronger, at least I could learn to be grateful…

Thanks, God…

Hi, there…I’m back with some words, though it’s much like the expression of my feelings right now…Hmmm…sounds like more drama…This is because soon after I relieved from some parts of those f**king assignments I started to feel that this is the time to pay much attention to my own self…

Let me ask you one thing…Happiness, excitements, fears, enjoyments, amusements, and even tears, have you ever felt that you’re the one who should bear all of these…? Cause I have…and it sucks…Knowing that I have those feelings but I don’t even know whether I should have them or not…

This is about me, myself and I. I’ve been a bit pathetic lately…playing around…messing up in the same old games…and don’t care what will happen to my own life…and even worse, don’t even think about others’ lives…But now I should start to think what’s best for me…and for those people who love me…

I start to feel that I should quit…but don’t know how…even it seems too late to realize that it’s wrong…cause I’ve been drowned…so deep that I can’t even help myself…

Oh my dear Lord…please show me the way…